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Questions to Ask the People You Love

You can know someone for twenty years and never learn that they see their memories in color and you do not. These questions fix that in one evening.

Every panel uses the SAME fixed scene from the SAME camera angle, like three frames of one moment: four friends around one square wooden table, each in the SAME seat in every panel. Far side of the table, center, facing the viewer: a young East Asian man with short black hair in a tan jacket. Left side: a young man with auburn hair in a green sweater. Right side: a young man with black hair in a blue hoodie. Near side, back to the viewer: a young woman with long brown hair in a pink sweater. A hand-painted card deck sits in the center of the table in all three panels. Panel one: the East Asian man draws the top card from the deck. Panel two: he reads the card aloud while the other three lean in and listen warmly; the deck is still in the center. Panel three: all four laugh together in their same seats; the deck is still in the center. No thought bubbles, no picture frames, no floating symbols.

How to play​

This is the simplest version of Our Magic Within, the card game I made from almost 200 questions I collected. Pick a question. Let anyone answer. Talk about it. Move on when you are ready.

There are no right answers. The point is to notice the differences with curiosity instead of judgment. You will almost certainly discover something new about someone you thought you knew, and probably something about yourself.

Pictures​

  • Close your eyes and imagine an apple. What do you get? (See The Spectrum for the 1 to 5 scale.)
  • Can you picture the face of someone you love when they are not in front of you?
  • When you read a novel, do you see the scenes?
  • Can you picture your childhood bedroom? Can you walk through it?
  • Do you dream in color? Do you dream in pictures at all?

Memories​

  • Can you call up a memory whenever you want?
  • Do you see it in 3D? Can you walk around inside it, or rotate it?
  • Do you experience the memory in first person, or watch yourself from the outside?
  • Can you hear it? Can you smell or taste it again?
  • Do old embarrassing moments replay on their own?

The inner voice​

  • Do you have an inner monologue? One, or more than one?
  • What does it say? Is it kind to you?
  • If there are several, do they argue?
  • Does it ever get in your way? How often?
  • Is it always on, or only sometimes?

The heart​

  • When you think of someone you love, what actually happens inside you?
  • When you imagine the future, do you see it, hear it, or feel it?
  • What is something your mind does that you assumed everyone's did?

Further Reading​